Theodore Byrne

Ok, so it's the day after Christmas. Saddest Xmas of all times. In order to let you know why, I need to go back to the beginning of the semester. So just pretend it's the end of September for now.

I told you about Kelly and Tracy, the new students who wanted to go to a bar, a.k.a. make out with me and some friend of mine. So I taught them how to get to the 'Bossa' and I then I asked Theo to meet me there.

Theo is my oldest friend. We've been best friends since I can remember. When he started his Business Administration course, his parents retired and decided to leave Manhattan and go back to their hometown in Louisiana. They took Theo's young sister, Emmanuelle, against her will, but she was 12 at the time, so it's not like she had a choice. Theo also has an older brother, Josh, who works with Logistics in a company in Boston.

When his parents left Manhattan, Theo moved to the school dorm. He worked at the Bossa for a while, but of course the money was not enough and he counted on his parents' financial aid. But things got rough, the family ran out of cash and used his college fund. Theo had to abandon college for a year to help his dad with the small business they had opened in Louisiana. To make a long story short, the family got back on track, Theo returned after a year or so and resumed college, but now he's the only one of the six-packs who hasn't graduated yet.

Theo arrived at the Bossa at the end of the afternoon. I told him about the new students and he had the same initial reaction he always had:
- Come on, Kyle... Stop trying to set me up with these desperate red necks. I can get my women.
He couldn't. He was too shy to meet women in Manhattan. My belief is that he's into online dating or hookers, but he doesn't like to talk about it a lot.

- Tracy is mute. I think she's as shy as you, or even more. You'll get along, trust me.
- How do you know that if she hadn't said a word?
- Just trust me.
- How old are these girls?
- 17, 18, who cares?
- I'm not a pedophile, Kyle.
- Having a drink with the girl doesn't qualify as pedophilia.
- They are underage, Tony won't serve them a drink. And you and I both know that you won't just have a drink with this girl.
- Yeah, I won't. But she's old enough to decide.

The girls arrived. As I had predicted, Kelly and I did all the talking. Theo and Tracy listened and listened... and listened a little more. At some point, Kelly asked:
- So, are you guys roommates?
- No, Theo lives at the dorm.
- Wow, we are staying at the dorms! We'll be dorm-buddies!

Theo finally said something:
- We don't call it that.

Kelly stared at him for a moment or so and then turned back to me:
- And what about you?
- I live in the East Village.

And Theo decided to talk again:
- Kyle lives with his mom.

All eyes turned to me. Luckily I was used to that:
- Ok, so I'm 23 and I live with my mom. Do you want a little background before you start judging?
- Girls - Theo interfered again - Kyle will now tell you how his greatgrandfather was a character in Gangs of New York.
- Uh, I love Leo di Caprio.
That was Tracy, finally saying something. I took a deep breath. I was starting to feel bored. Theo was mad for not being able to connect with Tracy and was starting to sabotage me. Maybe if I couldn't have sex with Kelly, he wouldn't feel like such a loser.

- My mother's family owned a big part of lower Manhattan and yes, you can consider Gangs of New York as part of my family's history. Throughout the years, my ancestrals sold almost everything, divided the fortune with several wives, lovers and bastard children. All my mother inherited was two apartments in a top floor of a building in the East Village,. So, yes, I live with my mom, but I live in one apartment and she lives in the other.
- Actually the two apartments were turned into one and they share the living room.
- We own the place, we don't pay rent and I have full privacy in my side of the apartment.
- Before privacy, you still pass by the shared living room.

Kelly and Tracy laughed.
- You guys are funny. - Kelly said. - I would love to meet your side of the apartment and the shared living room.
- You're invited.

Theo looked at Tracy:
- I can show you my dorm. My roommate hasn't returned from vacation yet.
- No, thanks.
- Ok.

Awkward silence. I tried to clear the air:
- Why don't we all go to my place and watch a DVD?
- I'll pass. - Theo said.
- Yeah, I have to... - Tracy stuttered. - ...uh... check my schedule and...
- So we go now? - Kelly stood up.

I saw Theo again the following morning. We met at the Starbucks close to his dorm.
- So, how was yesterday? - he asked.
- Man, what the hell happened?
- You set me up with a total teenager! She didn't say a word, except when you mentioned a Hollywood celebrity. Does she know that LA is on the other side of the country?
- You didn't say a word either, Theo.
- I tried to start a conversation, but you were too busy trying to get into Kelly's pants. So, have her parents called the police?
- It's not a crime!
- Did you sleep with her?
- Of course I did
- Crime!
- You're just mad because I had sex and you didn't.
- If I got mad because of this, I would be constantly mad at you.
I stopped talking to put sugar on my coffee.
- Are you going to see her again? - Theo asked.
- Definetly.
- Your mom liked her?
- They didn't meet. My mother stayed out until late yesterday showing properties and left really early this morning for a doctor's appointment.
Now Theo was the one adjusting his coffee. I looked at him for a moment and said:
- Theo, don't worry. You don't have to be the guy who chases sex with any girl all the time. You're not like that and it's ok. You're the romantic type or whatever... Just don't worry, you'll find love.

He just smiled.